Color

Yes, the title may have fooled you. Usually when I write about color, it has to do with yarn or a crochet pattern or a photograph I've taken. Not today.

Let's start with another person's blog:

http://artandeverythingafter.com/i-fit-the-description/

then there's the scene from Crash

https://youtu.be/EtvbEtPIGiA

I am an old white woman. I am not at risk for Driving While Black.  I have become aware lately that the risk has become more personal, and I am repulsed by my reaction to it.

I have cropped the photo to prevent embarrassment, but this is my grandson's head. Although he had stick straight blond hair as a child, puberty has turned it darker and much much curlier. Commonly (and I use that word intentionally) known as a "Jewfro" or, if he were a little darker, an "Afro".

Grandma and mom discussing how safe he is walking home at night with a hoodie on. Realizing that DON'T KILL ME, I"M WHITE on a tee shirt is probably not an effective way to keep him safe, and then horrified that my response to this danger is to wave a white flag.

What is it like to fear for your life just because of the color of your skin? Chronically? 

As a white person, I don't know what to do. I feel contempt for myself that my sense of urgency about it comes from the shoe being on my foot now.

Dylan Thomas's words come to mind "After the first death, there is no other".

WHAT ARE WE DOING, AMERICA?!!!!!!